WEEK 1 � GETTING STARTED THE VERY FIRST SUGGESTIONS
The first thing to state is that in our experience AA works� if you work it. It may all
seem overwhelming at the moment, but we have all been through early days in AA
and we understand. Our experience is that if we follow some basic suggestions we can
stop, stay stopped and lead happy lives.
This week, we are going to try to offer some useful information that was
given to us right from our first meeting in AA. The following are not all of the
suggestions that you will need to get well � but we found that by sticking to these
guidelines we were able to hang around long enough to hear the rest.
Get to Meetings The primary purpose of every AA meeting is to carry the
AA message of hope and a happy sobriety to the suffering alcoholic. Whatever else
might be going on in your life or however little else you may feel you are doing about
your situation, even you are still drinking, there is a chance it will get better if you
keep going to meetings. Sometimes it�s not clear why, but it�s true. Certainly, we have
not heard of many that regretted going to too many meetings in their early days. We
find that we like some meetings more than others, and that�s fine � all meetings are
good, so just go to the ones that suit you.
Get a Big Book� and Read It The book Alcoholics Anonymous, which is
very often referred to in meetings as the Big Book contains the basic text for recovery.
The first section, up to page 164, is the manual on getting well. It is an amalgamation
of how the first 100 members� recovered from their drinking problems. The stories
afterwards are good too, but of less importance, especially if we live in a town where
there are daily meetings and we have many chances to hear first hand of the personal
experiences of many alcoholics in AA.
Many of us still read the Big Book daily, perhaps a couple of pages, and
when we get to the end we start again. Every word is gold, and every reading seems to
reveal a bit more.
Get a Sponsor A sponsor is someone who has been through the 12-steps of
recovery who will help you to do the same by passing on his or her experience. We
have found a sponsor invaluable in our recoveries. If you are unsure as to how to get
one, then here are some guidelines that were useful to us: we chose someone who has
been through the steps as they are laid out in the Big Book. We were told to choose
someone who �has what you want�. By this we mean, if you want to be happy and
content, then it might be an idea to pick someone who seems to you to be happy and
content with what the programme has given him or her. We chose someone who still
has a sponsor � it is reassuring to know our sponsor is still taking guidance and is
plugged into AA experience beyond just their own. If the person you have in mind has
other sponsees, look at them and see how they seem to be doing � if the sponsor has
passed something on to them, then the chances are he or she can pass it on to you too.
To get a sponsor, you might have to ask someone to help you. It may seem
daunting, but remember that alcoholics in AA want to help other alcoholics. It is a
great honour to be asked to sponsor someone, so most will say yes. If the person you
ask says, no, because they are too busy, it is almost certainly the truth, and not an
excuse. If you are unsure about someone, then you can always start on a temporary
basis and see how it goes.
Keep Away from Drinking Places It is often said in AA that if you don�t
take the first drink, you can�t get drunk. We are more likely to take that first drink if
we frequent bars and pubs. No situation is exactly the same as another, so a sponsor
can be a great help in specific situations. You may feel that you are okay frequenting
your old drinking haunts and ordering orange juice, but in our experience it pays to
take care. Some of us have had the experience of trying to stop and then finding
ourselves with a glass in our hands and with the beer half drunk before we remember
that we were supposed to be stopping. As someone once put it in a meeting, he �forgot
that he was supposed to remember�. By then it�s too late, of course, and so we think
we might as well get drunk this time. This disease is cunning baffling and powerful.
So perhaps you could arrange to meet friends for coffee in a caf� instead.
Having said this, it is inevitable that even despite our best efforts,
occasionally we will find ourselves in social situations where drink is served. If this
happens, there is no need to feel put upon if you are offered an alcoholic drink. A
polite "thank you but I think I will have water today" is fine. There�s nothing more to
explain.
Also, many of us worry about big drinking days in the calendar. We have
known people come into AA in February who were worried about Christmas. That is
where the slogan, �it�s just for today�, helps. When Christmas comes, there is lots of
help and advice, but just for today it isn�t Christmas, and so it�s not a problem.
Don�t make major decisions until after the first nine steps When we say
major decisions, we mean things such as buying a new house, entering a new
relationship or making a career change unnecessarily. Many of us can see why
someone who drinks heavily is going to have problems in these areas. So, we might
think that as soon as we stop drinking we are in a better position to start tackling these
areas better immediately. Well, the truth is that we might be. The Big Book does say
that some alcoholics are perfectly well balanced apart from their attitude to drink. So
if you�re single it really could be that you just haven�t met the right person yet.
However, bitter experience for many has shown us that, before we have done the first
nine steps, if it does go wrong in these areas, it can go badly wrong. If these things go
wrong for a non-alcoholic they just feel bad, but if it goes wrong for us in our early
days, there is every chance that we will drink again too. No matter how right a
decision might feel at the time, we could regret it later. After all, if we could tell our
mistakes before we made them, we would never make any in the first place. So at this
stage, why take the risk? Isn�t it much better just to wait a few months while we focus
on the AA programme of recovery and then are able to try these things safely. So at
the very least, talk it over with your sponsor and let the experience of others in AA
help you.
That�s the talk for this week. Now I am delighted introduce [Name] who has
kindly come along this evening to share in a general way what it was like, what
happened, and what it is like now.